Just kidding! But I am super tempted to do so. It would just be so much easier, you know? Do you think that's what Julia Roberts does in "Eat, Pray, Love"? I'm not going to see it, and I'm certainly not going to read it, so one of you is going to have to tell me how much she takes with her. Yes, I am all packed up, but I would very much like to down size my luggage. I have to keep in mind that I am lugging this stuff around all by myself, unless of course I befriend a nice stranger on the plane. That is my plan, by the way. For the record, I have never:
a.) been out of the country
or
b.) flown on a plane by myself.
Tomorrow I'm flying out of the country by myself! Max asked me if I'm going to be one of those dumb people who asks questions instead of just reading the board at the airport. First I got huffy and asked him why he always makes me sound like a moron. Then I said yes, of course I'm going to stop and ask questions. I am going to find people on my flight to Charlotte who are also flying to Rome. And then I will mercilessly stalk them until I am through customs.
I'm watching Katy Perry perform on Letterman. They just zoomed in and showed a close up of her face. She must be SO embarrassed about all that acne she has-good thing she's a ProActiv representative! "We're talking about zits here, people!" Shut it, Perry.
So. You're excited for me, right? I don't demand excitement or even remote interest, but it would be much appreciated. Humor me, you know? I have most enjoyed receiving advice from people who have either:
-been to Italy
-heard of Italy
-have a friend who went to Italy
-Italian blood
Most common questions/statements:
Q: So, do you know Italian?
Me: No.
Q: Uhhh Ohhh!! What are you going to do?
Me: Come home, probably.
Q: Have you seen Taken?
Me: Yes.
Q: Like, is that going to happen to you?
Me: I hope so.
Q: Did you know that Italian men are all sleezy and creepy?
Me: Are they really? Oh, that's great news.
Q: Are you going to come back married?
Me: I'm already married.
A personal favorite moment:
A few weeks ago I went to the Ohio Building (for work purposes, not to buy a breakfast sandwich) and after I completed my assigned task, I made my way up to the 8th floor to get my parking stub stamped. The woman behind the counter, the one who has the power to save me a dollar on parking, inquired about school and when I am going back. I said "I'm never going back! I'm going to Italy!" or something. Her response: "Ooooh, you gon' bring back a nice, rich I-talian man!"
And what if I do? Like, we're not even romantically involved. I literally just gate check a wealthy Italian man who wears nice shoes and smells of leather and tomato sauce. I would immediately march back to the 8th floor, Rich Italian Man in tow (toe?), and proudly present him. And at that point, I'd probably just leave him there.
I need to go get rid of ~1.5 pounds from my luggage before I feel any kind of confidence in taking that thing with me.
And if I find a rich Italian man, I'll let you know.
hahahaha
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