Collected Data

Margherita is a science fair project.

I'm not sure who is following along with my daily adventures with her, but you should know that I go to bed, almost every single night, saying to myself What just happened? Because in recent weeks it has dawned on me that I am having real conversations with her. And, as if that isn't strange enough, we've developed an actual relationship that is akin to, I don't know, sisterly? I guess my point is this: She might be crazy. She might be brilliant. But she is certainly the most entertaining child I have ever met.

Margherita gets bored easily. I find this hilarious because Italians LOVE having a routine. This morning when I was smearing Nutella on a fritte and then dipping it in my cappuccino I thought....Huh. At circa 8:07 every morning for the past 3 1/2 months you have smeared Nutella on exactly two frittes. Eat yogurt first. Eat small piece of cake. Nutella and frittes. Drink remaining cappuccino. Drink glass of water. Ball up napkin and stuff in yogurt cup. Yogurt cup in water glass. Mug and saucer stacked on top of  breakfast plate. Carry all into kitchen and put in sink. I have literally done that every single day since August 30 with the exception of small trips. And that one time I slept in on a Saturday. Both meals eaten at home function this way. Routine. Maybe that's why Margherita gets so bored if she sits still for more than 3 minutes. For about 3 or 4 nights in a row, we play the same game. When I first got here, she just wanted to watch Friends all the time. Then play with Katie's stuff. Then volleyball. Then card games. Then drawing. Then house. Then magic spells. Then Katie and Margherita's art gallery where everything is sold at a reasonably affordable price. It's hard to keep up, actually. Arianna and I usually just nod our heads in agreement-it's alot easier that way. Last night Ari and I hid in my bed and watched videos of James Franco while Margherita ran around looking for us. Oh, she found us. And that's when we went to "work." Because play is like work for her. A certain quota of play must be done every night before we can go to bed. What a weird kid.

The other night was Stuffed Animal Play night. I enjoy a good stuffed animal play. Margherita began by introducing me to all of the actors in the show-it looked like a pretty decent cast. Of course, all of the animals had Italian names because she's Italian, you know? After a dozen or so introductions, she picked up a small pink cat. "And thiiiis....is Gatto Steve!" First of all, everything she ever says is in Italian so just KNOW that, ok? She's not an English prodigy or anything. But do you know what gatto means? It means cat. Cat Steve. I'm still not sure which part of Gatto Steve's name is most hilarious. Naturally, she and Arianna got in an argument over Gatto Steve's name being a boy name or a girl name. I assured them that yes, little pink Gatto Steve is in fact a boy. Once that was settled, I realized that the Lion's head was literally dangling by a thread. This was disconcerting to me. Margherita assured me atleast a dozen times that it didn't matter if Lion's head was falling off. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went in my room and got the needle and thread I had brought with me. I sat down with Lion in my lap and began the extensive, and sometimes fatal, head re-attachment process. Don't worry-I assured both girls that I am a doctor. Oh, sidenote. 3-ish years ago I performed the exact same surgery on Serp's Cleveland Cavaliers bear when a certain character ripped its head off in a fit of post-season hysteria. Bear was my first survivor. And, thankfully, Lion was my second. The best part about this surgery is that  my host nonna AND Fabio both walked in and immediately fell in love with me because I was sewing together injured stuffed animals. Right, so I believe the girls were mildly impressed with my sewing abilities. Then Margherita saw that Lion and Donkey's tails were tied together. Instead of untying the tails, she cut them off. Just picked up a pair of scissors and cut of their tails. Girl, seriously? So yes. You can assume that while the other animals got to act in their end of the year production, I was mending the tails of Lion and Donkey. I'll probably be putting this experience on my med school application.

I could literally go on for years about the strange nuances of this child. I feel like merely explaining them, though, does not do the entire experience justice. I will leave you with a final anecdote and then maybe you can make your own judgement.

Margherita really likes math. I like doing math with her because numbers are universal and there's not much to be lost in translation. She also really likes to come up with little games where letters are equal to certain numbers and then you add the words together and then the numbers that come out...I don't know, I think it's supposed to be a message or something. The other day she selected numbers totally at random. She did some additional then some subtraction. The answer was 666. Check and mate.

The magic number is 10. MOLTO STRANO.

Lesson: Learn to sew. The animals need you.